Staring Down The Barrel Of A 45
by BeautyFiend
Summary: They meet every night. Now he wants more from it, but does she? One-Shot. please read and review. thank you.


Hey...heres my first One-Shot fanfic...i hope it doesn't suck to badly...and to everyone reading Not Forever i'm probably going to update it tomorrow...oh and the song in here is 45 by Shinedown...

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of the characters…even though I do wish I owned Mike Lobel…lol j/k…

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_Send away for a priceless gift  
One not subtle, one not on the list  
Send away for a perfect world  
One not simply, so absurd  
In these times of doing what you're told  
You keep these feelings, no one knows  
What ever happened to the young man's heart  
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart_

We had been doing this for what seemed forever but its been going on for about two months. Every night she sneaks out and comes to see me. I think to her its just a physical attraction, but to me its much more. I stopped all the shit I was doing with all the other girls just so that what I did before won't happen again. I know that all my friends think I'm stupid for doing it but they didn't know what I felt whenever I was with her or whenever I heard her laugh, or whenever I saw her smile. I don't think I ever felt this way about a girl. They could call me whatever they wanted but it didn't matter to me.

Tonight was starting out the same as the others. She came as always around 12 and didn't even say a word to me, just grabbed my hand and pulled me into the van. When she started to kiss me I could tell something was wrong. Usually she wasn't this aggressive and usually she would at least say hey or ask me what was up first. I pulled away from our kiss.

_And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,  
Swimming through the ashes of another life  
No real reason to accept the way things have changed  
Staring down the barrel of a 45  
Send a message to the unborn child  
Keep your eyes open for a while  
In a box high up on the shelf, left for you, no one else  
There's a piece of a puzzle known as life  
Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight_

"what's wrong? Did I do something wrong?" she asked, goddamn she was so innocent. Even after the many times we had been in this van she still seemed so innocent like the first night she came here.

"no you didn't. but what's wrong with you? You don't seem like yourself" she just shook her head and tried to kiss me again. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to tell her the truth. I didn't want this stupid hook up shit anymore. I couldn't take seeing her during the day with her friends and her fake smile plastered on her face. I wanted to be with her, I actually wanted a relationship out of this.

"Can we actually talk instead of just having sex tonight" I asked. She could tell that I was serious, she knew about my whole past and the fact that people she me as basically a sex-fiend.

"Sure…what's up" she leaned back on the pillows in the van and just stared at me with her beautiful brown eyes.

_What ever happened to the young man's heart  
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart  
Everyone's pointing their fingers  
Always condemning me  
And nobody knows what I believe  
I believe_

"don't you ever get sick of this shit?" She just sort of looked at me questioningly, she really has changed since she's been coming down here. "Emma, don't you ever want something more than sex? Or hooking up in the back of a dirty crusty old van?"

"Jay…I don't get what you're saying? Are you trying to tell me that you don't want to hook up anymore?" Doesn't she see that I really do like her? I pulled my hat off and ran my fingers threw my hair. I wasn't sure how to word it correctly to let her know that I really do like her.

"Emma I don't want this anymore I want to be with you. I'm so tired of just hooking up in this van and no one knowing about us. I want to be open about us. I want to actually be with you." I waited for her to say something…anything.

"I...I don't know…I'm scared of getting hurt. I don't want to be another Alex or Amy." I moved myself next to her on the pillows and wrapped my arms around her. "Just tell me that I won't be. Tell me that you won't cheat on me or hurt me…"

"Emma I won't…I promise you I won't cheat on you and I won't hurt you" I kissed her forehead and rested my chin on top of her head. We just laid there for a little while and then went out to see what was up with my friends. I drove her home later and when I let her off I told her that I would pick her up tomorrow if she wanted.

"ok…bye Jay" she gave me a quick kiss and snuck back into her room. As I drove off I thought about the night…I really had her and I was happy.

_And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,  
Swimming through the ashes of another life  
No real reason to accept the way things have changed  
Staring down the barrel of a 45_

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There it it...let me know what you think...sorry if it sucks...

Taryn


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